Truth, Lies, Masks, and Deceit

We all lie.  Truth.  The issue is can we honestly verify a marketable difference between the two states?  From my introductory college psychology textbook there was a brief remark that one shouldn’t trust any, or all self-reporting data.  Simply because of the implicit desire to lie about oneself to maintain a ego, and ones own self esteem.

Perhaps true, but I personally think at some level, maybe the more maturity one develops.  One begins to realize, and accept the atrocious behavior that one may so easily enact.  Case in point; It was recently implied that I sound like a “Rapist”, and thus am likely to be a “Rapist”.  This was coming from a friend that I had known for approximately five years.  Five years in which I had never made any “rapist” inclinations, but being that I am a male that doesn’t apparently speak the approved dialect/vocabulary.  I am now considered a “would be rapist” by her.  Being that I have no desire to associate with said context, the friendship is now over.

The reason this is being brought up is the notion that we so readily enact a mask that others may find appreciable, or we hide our true thoughts of each other behind said mask.  I had no clue that she had been raped prior, and that I was being continuously judged for “rapey” tendencies.  Personally, I don’t need the paranoia that would stem from a continued friendship with said person.

Mainly because I’ve been so far into madness that I’ve gone paranoid to the part where I was afraid to breath, for fear that I was inhaling toxic fumes.  Even when I was in broad daylight, in a natural environment while this fear may be true in a smog ridden city.  It wasn’t in the context I was in at that time.

Tying back into the main premise, my concept of identity seems so shaky sometimes that I’m not sure which mask to believe.  I can readily acknowledge/admit that all the worlds human institutions are constructs that only operate based upon a mutual/shared belief.

The military, banking, industry,…etc they all require a mutual suspension of disbelief that the idea we are working on actually matters.  The lauded dollar, only has value because we belief it has value.  It’s value could be tied to a “value/life” of every soldier sacrificed to maintain such belief (ie, $1 is 1 soldier’s life), and would anyone really care?  It’s not tied to anything concrete, and it doesn’t need to be so to have value.  No Gold Standard, or “Oil Standard”…it’s all made up.

The same way our identities are made up, if I wish to be recognized as a veteran.  I would have to enlist, and serve.  Get a narrative made up about myself, and have it approved by others that are in on the same terms.  It is nothing but virtual games, or so it seems.  Call up images of Orwell’s 1984, or Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451….any dystopian story…it all is narrative.  And the writer creates, and advertises the narrative.

Our stories are self-concocted, self-narrated, and self-imposed.  There is nothing that says you have to be who you are in any given moment.  For all I know, I could be a King of France that is also a little bit “crazy”.  That the year isn’t 2017 (calendars are also made up).  That it could be mere moments from the masquerade where courtiers got lit on fire ( ).

The only reference that we have is ourselves, and our believed history/narrative.  And yet psychology seems to want to disown that portion of our lives by saying it is likely false.  A lie that is due to self-reporting data, but what I do I know?

Emotionally Gutted

This is going to be a hard one to write.  During a point in my life when I had transitioned to college, I had chanced upon a feeling.  What this feeling was, I can’t pinpoint down.  I’d like to call it “Love”, or something along those veins.  “Warmth”, perhaps, for that’s all it felt like.  It was, and still is a foreign concept to me.  All I know is that I felt safe around a certain person.  I wanted to continue to see said person, for she had invoked such a feeling.  I wanted to explore it, but it terrified me.  What is this burning sensation I felt in my chest?  Am I sick?  I never felt such internal sensation of the life before….

Growing up, I never received much praise, or acknowledgment for positive efforts.  If anything the metaphorical rod was the standard practice of the environment.  Cry, get yelled at, raise one’s voice, get yelled at, “incompetent” get yelled at, question anything, get yelled at, complain, get yelled at, spoke out, get yelled at….when I was 18-19, when I was in Huntsville, AL.  After entertaining above feeling that was instilled by said certain person, for about a month before destroying the connection in a panic induced haze.

I realized emotions are “unnatural” for me.  I had spent the subsequent year crying myself to sleep because I just didn’t understand, and I still don’t.  I honestly know I probably could take a person’s life with no remorse, or feeling about it.  I probably could plan it out, and enact it quite effectively too.  I know how to make some explosives (from my years in chemistry), I know how to shoot, and have handled firearms before.  I have practiced some martial arts, so I am slightly familiar with close quarters combat too.

Overall, these realizations sort of “scare” me on an intellectual level (not emotional cause well, they’re shunted).  I’m scared of myself, and that understanding has haunted me since Huntsville.  I’ve spent years gutting the world around me intellectually as a virtual construct with constructed meanings.  I’ve nearly seen a Harvard Educated Professor shoot up colleagues over something as slight as a “insult/fear of patent loss” (Huntsville campus shooting circa 2010), so I’ve witnessed human failing of that extent nearly firsthand.

What prevents one from becoming a “Lone Wolf Actor”?  I don’t know, I’ve been yelled at for possibly becoming one, so I don’t know.  I never want to be, or become an ineffective martyr that takes other’s lives for a suicidal belief.  I just don’t know what sets one off other than maybe being pushed too far.

God knows I’ve been pushed, but I already realize that my being pushed is nothing compared to the suffering of Others.  I just don’t understand why we push each other so hard.  Women can’t find common decency, men can’t express themselves without fear of “vulnerable repercussions”.  We’re all playing masquerade with ourselves, and each other.  Truth is an illusion in some arguments, and God is Dead.  There have been those who’ve argued for a “Last Messiah” of let Humanity as an aberration of thought die off.  Don’t reproduce.  Don’t do anything to survive, just go quietly into that Eternal Night….

I so desperately want to Live Life, but I’m scared to do so.  I feel like I’ve been barred into a certain direction.  That I have no choice (according to science free will is an illusion).  Life just doesn’t seem like Life.  Find some sort of enjoyment, and you’re scared to enjoy it.  Simply because you don’t want to “lose it”, but the very effect of that thought causes it’s loss.

Scared to actually be vulnerable because you may “lose it” too.  That you won’t have the “structure of the Ego created Mask” to hold your identity together.  That everything you do to cling to shards of sanity actually drive yourself further to the depths of madness.

This all I’ve realized, and I want more of it.  My taste for Life simply can’t be sated, and I feel the only choice is Existence, Yes/No?  Do you commit suicide?  If yes, you’ll never know success/failure, or anything.  You may simply restart, and go through the recurring mess that caused one to crave suicide in the first place.  Life.

And with Life, a realization that you’ll either have to predate, or parasite off another.  If you simply do not what to be a “herd” animal.  Simply due to energy dynamics.

Thus one begins to realize that Everyone is a Liar, that Everyone is Un-whole, and a Sinner that doesn’t care, for salvation.  Simply because Life entails it so.  Religion is a farce, philosophy is a farce, everything is a farce of the sickest sort.

So can a person ever win in a “no-win” situation?  Kirk did so, The Kobayashi Maru ( )…according to his standards.  And that is the only way to win, according to one’s own standards.

My response to a friend about the Kobayashi Maru scenario as to what I would do in said situation.  Was to challenge the most honorable Klingon crew to a trial by ordeal.  How it would play out, I don’t know.  Some personal thought scenarios has it playing out by the Klingon’s fighting amongst themselves for the “honor” of starting the war with the Federation.  Others’ with a feeling of, “Our Finest Hour!”  Overall, my personal taste is of a, “Our Finest Hour” mixed in with heroic displays of valor.  Simply because I think the Kobayashi Maru scenario is one that is meant to challenge oneself on that level.  Do you aspire to be a hero, even if reluctant, or are you willing to go into that cold eternal night without a fight?

Thus I’m no longer scared of myself, I’ve realized my potential, and I have come to know myself.  I have been tested, I have not broken, nor have I failed.  My standards are resolute, and I’ve been redeemed if solely in my own eyes.  This is the way of us all.  My Father, and my Mother did not hesitate to punish or spoil.  It was all in the application.  I may have forgot some of the positives of my childhood, just as I’ve exaggerated the negatives.  There was both, and there always are both.  I just hope at some point, the positives outweigh the negatives by a significant margin, and that I’m able to accept such imbalance gracefully.

Such is Life.

A Philosophy of Pain, Suffering, & Humiliation.

Well, this may be a darker toned one, but it may be interesting.  Let us suppose that there is one inexplicable psychological phenomena that defies explanation.  Let us call it “Pain”, it is an tormenting experience, and not often rated very highly in “hedons”  ( ) in fact some have gone so far to create a term called “dolor” (apparently) to describe it.  Having created some sort of image of this concept, let us go further, and state most philosophies/religions are about allaying such concept.

Stoicism, detaching from things that may cause pain.  The same goes for Buddhism, and I’m sure plenty of others that are eluding me right now.  Why is this so?  If Pain is the only psychological phenomena that we can be certain of experiencing.  Why would we want to negate suffering?  What is so surreal about pain that we can’t accept it into our lives?  Instead we blunt it out, and are we in turn blunting ourselves?  We censor others that offend us, and we avoid anything that seems harsh.  To me, at least, it seems that we are.

I should mention that I don’t see myself as a sadist, or a masochist.  I just think that pain, as an authentic experience shouldn’t be ignored.  Dig into it, and extract the wound.  There’s the remark of, “Doctor, Heal Thyself!”, but if Doctors, and nonetheless ourselves, are unwilling to reach into our own personal pits of turmoil to extract the thorn that causes us grief.  Just what are we actually doing?

As I sit here writing, and composing my thoughts for this article.  I keep coming back to a notion of Christianity.  I know very little of it as a doctrine, and I’m laity when it comes to actually having read the Bible.  And yet, from my cursory knowledge/experience of it.  It does not seem like a light airy religion, it seems to have a fairly dark edge to it which is oddly attractive.  Call it a morbid curiosity, or an attraction to the Dark Side (of the force).

Consider for a moment, this thought, taken out of context, perhaps, of Jesus himself.  A man stripped down, flogged, and nailed, I repeat nailed to a Cross.  He was made to carry his own impending device of suffering 600 meters (~2000 ft).  That does not seem like a doctrine that would entail much dignity for the guilty (unlike what we “civilized” folk have now for suffering and shame).  Crowned with a briar of thorns, Jesus did this, and endured it.

At this point I just want to cry both emotionally, and spiritually.  I just want to scream out, “Look here!  This Man of Faith, this King, and Son of God.  Brought low by fellow man, and debased of all worth!  High claims rent to ground.  His bones, dust, his blood, ash, and yet he lives on!”

Now taking into context our daily lives, they don’t seem so bad now, do they?  We may suffer the stones, and arrows of verbal assaults (on occasion).  Even more rarely, physical assaults.  Although, does any of us know true suffering?  To be called, “King of the Jews”?

Oddly, I’m reminded of those bracelets of, “What Would Jesus Do?”.  Well, from this superficial understanding, he’d voluntarily accept his suffering, and not reject the “Burden of God/Cross”.

If I knew nothing else about the figure of Jesus, the aforementioned alone would inspire me with a sense of respect if not admiration.  I mean consider how easily do we take flight for moments of respite, or offshore responsibility for our misdeeds onto others?  Did, and does Humanity deserve Jesus?

I don’t know, we apparently did, but I don’t know.


The Monkey Chain of Hierarchies, (or Breaking the “Self” to Realize the Self).

(Ensure that you’ve read “The Divide” post before putting much weight behind this one).

One of the things that I seem to find myself butting my head against more often than not is the notion of “hierarchy”.  At least that’s what a cursory understanding may imply, but digging deeper to try and express what I’m aiming at seems to lead to a notion of the following.  The idea that no matter what, a person, or individual is embedded within a larger social context.  We are after all social creatures, but we seldom maintain one “level” of status consistently.

To some, if not most, people a person encounters in their waking life.  They are an individual of low worth, or indeterminate worth.  You’re still recognized as human for the most part, but other than that you may as well be a stereotype, or a 2-dimensional stock character, a trope.  This is what equality leads to, a sort of dehumanization of the human element in some sense.  A King, a President, a serf, or a slave…all have to use the same/similar “throne” (toilet) at some point during the day.  And yet, the majority of us don’t think of it that way.  We defer to those with “Authority” which in itself has it’s own perks, and cons.

The point I’m attempting to hone in upon is a notion that for as lauded as some people may appear to be, their shit still stinks as with our own, and until they come up with android bodies where we don’t need to use the “Facilities”.  It likely won’t change.  Regardless of this, we clamor, and use whatever slight of mind to discern, and advance ourselves above some sort of “Other”.  An “Other” being something, or someone that is simply not a part of “Us”.

We (the “royal we”), claim to be (insert age) Souls, or whatever level of spiritual/intellectual/cognitive development where we attempt to set ourselves up as some sort of “Status” icon.  At least to ourselves, and at most to those around us.  Thus it starts to boil down to a game of “monkey chain”.  Those who play the best end up at the “top”, but everyone else is beneath them holding on for dear life.  Whereas the one at the bottom has no other burden other than themselves, but they get all sort of “messages” from above.

If one were to construe this as a “moral message”, it would be along the lines of, “abase oneself of their own inflated worth”.  You aren’t special, if simply because until you realize that you aren’t so.  You have no sense of specialty.

To illustrate what I mean by this.  Consider that your entire identity, and sense of “Self” was concocted outside of your own sense of “Self”.  Your Name, given to you by your parents.  Your friends, determined mostly by your social status/grouping.  Your Nation, just a larger group.  It all boils down from above with the notion of “social identification”.  You are “granted/given” a #Number# at birth, and registered with the local official body (for the most part).  And yet, how much of your identity is tied up within these constructs?  Lose said #Number#, or have it “Stolen” and you’ve lost your “Identity”.

Once a person truly realizes this, and integrates it into their consciousness.  There’s no going back.  Your identity is a construct, you aren’t being “Authentic” despite whatever showy actions one takes until this realization is made (or so I think).  At the base you are just another object given a name.  A hunk of carbon, water, and other various chemical compounds that moves, and acts “Human”.  Yet in some sense is still missing a “Soul”.  You have an “Identity”, so much as it is recognized by “Others”.  And yet, this seems really hollow.  You had no say over it as an individual, it just happened.

You are a “Nothing” playing at being “Something”, (this whole post is building off of the last post where Sartre’s Authenticity was mentioned.  That sense of True Self).  A person isn’t truly an individual until they’ve cast aside whatever constructs they have used to precipice their “Identity”.  This is why “Individuation” is so hard, and ego shattering.  It is because that is exactly what one is doing.  Destroying, and allowing their Ego to be destroyed.  Only because they’ve realized that their Ego is, and was completely fabricated by another outside Entity.  Ie; Not their-selves.

It is a Hellish experience to go through, but it is one of the most rewarding ones that a person can experience in their entire lives (as it feels to me).  To realize that you are an animal, that you can be trained “Pavlov Style” (Classical Psychological Conditioning ).  As my personal thesis, I think that a person can gain control of themselves, but they first need to be “mastered” by another.  A different person, who may, or may not have their newly found servants best interest at heart.  This is to be so because, one is essentially being shown how they’ve been “Domesticated” by society, or whatever culture.

Taking another step from this, One once being mastered, (broken like a wild horse, for analogy) is presented with an option.  To be the eternal servant/slave of “God”, or to struggle/fight for Freedom (become a Prince in Hell).  A person can’t faithfully serve two masters, that should be easily understood.  One Master is external, and are the ones who originally “broke/domesticated you” (say they potty trained you).  The other True, and Honest Master is the one that resides within.  Your True sense of Self, and let me say this, “You’ll always have to live with yourself.”

Thus having been “Socially built” (broken by the external master), and forcibly re-broken/rebuilt by the Internal Master.  One may achieve their sense of Self, and become a True Unique Individual.  After all, if you personally know what it takes to break you, and destroy you.  What is there to fear except yourself, but you are your own Master at that point.  Thus there is no fear, no remorse, no guilt, not one single ounce of internal conflict.

Realizing all of this may be mental gymnastics though, but I wouldn’t be surprised if veterans could relate to this.  The metaphorical “Hump” in Boot-Camp.  The point where one wants to give up upon themselves, and just quit.  To washout.  Pushing through that, and “breaking oneself” once again allows one to remold themselves completely.  Simply because as an analogy the Sergeants have “broken you down at that point”.  One must simply do it to themselves now.  They (The External Master) have demonstrated all the skills needed to do so.

As a quip…., “Spiritualism calls for Ego-Death, but doesn’t that imply something is actively killing or has killed the Ego?”.

The Divide

Well, to continue with the incoherent theme my blog seems to have taken of late.  I will say that the past few months has been me delving into the “psychological archives”, and reading some books about Jungian Depth Psychology.  Mainly “The Portable Jung” by Joseph Campbell (conveniently found here for free & legally ), and “Maps of Meaning” by Jordan B. Peterson.

Both of which relate to the mindset I have found myself in the past couple of years, and the boundaries I’ve been pushing (probably a little too much).  Anyways, as far as I understand Jung’s thoughts, and what I’ve been thinking about personally.  Is the following diagram to illustrate the ideas.Realities

To start with Ego, Ego is the little bit of awareness that a person generally has until they “confront, and amend” their “Shadow” (Personal Unconscious).  Both of which reside in the Self.  The Ego overlaps, with the Personal Unconsciousness and the Collective World/Consciousness.  A person can only be aware of what is within their “Ego” (generally), and it plays a part of how they interact with the world around them (Reality).

Adjusting to the Personal Unconsciousness (The Shadow) is the trick of Jungian Individuation.  A process that can’t really be detailed, but can experienced by everyone.  It’s just that few choose to do so because it risks flirting with “Insanity”, and “Cognitive Regression”.  Along with social retribution/isolation for “breaking norms”.  The payoff is to truly know yourself, and to become an Individual.

Moving onto the Self, Self is the part that subsumes Ego, and The Personal Unconsciousness.  It is truly a person’s “Soul”.  My thoughts on it roughly tie in Sartre’s Authenticity, Nietzsche’s Nihilism/Ubermensch, Kierkegaard’s Knight of Faith, and a whole host of other thoughts.  Crudely, it could be described as Existence precedes Essence, which predates Recognition, and then Acceptance of said Essence.  A “person” is born into the world, but they aren’t fully “aware” of it, nor themselves.  Mainly because the “Brain/Ego/Self” is still being generated/compiled from stimuli, and experiences.  An early trap to fall in to is the notion of “Roles”.  Identifying oneself via the tasks they perform, and the activities they do during conscious life.  This is not so.  That ties in with Authenticity by realizing that those are just acts a person does.  Masks, if you will.  Nietzsche’s Nihilism comes along, and hammers away all these masks…The “Twilight of the Idol(s)”, so to speak.  Building upon the bare fundamentals of annihilation, for what are we except “dust in the wind”.  One constructs their notion of Self through the Culture they are immersed in daily, but not through identification as previously.  They take the facets they like/enjoy, and discard the rest into the “Nihilistic Abyss”, for those things have no meaning to the True Individual.  The “Knight of Faith” is comparable to the Ubermensch in the aspects that both take into account their selves as creations.  The Ubermensch reevaluates all external meanings/mores whereas the Knight of Faith applies meaning to the Self/God.  They are not opposed, but cantilevers to the thesis/anti-thesis/synthesis aspect of development.

Transitioning to the Collective Unconsciousness, it could be roughly described as the “History” that isn’t written, but is still kept in mind.  It is composed of “Archetypes”, or “Fictional Heroes”.

Collective Consciousness is the world that is “Historically Written”.  It is transcribed in books, and the actors are “Real” (Non-Fictional whatever that means at this point) beings.  It is the world that we are all actors in as far as we know, and constitutes our daily lives.  We may overlap with other “Actors” during our lives, but the bubbles of Self/Ego/Personal Unconscious are truly our own.  As they shall always be.  Humanities bubble, as a species, is the Speculated/Potential Universe.  It can, and probably will overlap with an “Alien Species” at some point, but those species themselves will likely have their own history/bubbles (Unconscious functions due to Evolution, if Universal).

The Speculated/Potential Universe is the aspect of Reality that we as a united species is exploring, and can reach to the best of our present theories.  It, as with all of the above bubbles, is expanding.

The Unknown, is the Cosmic Chaos, and the Reality that we can’t, or haven’t explored.


…Suffice to say, the above is just my mental model for making sense of Reality, and I truly do believe that there are several definitions of what constitute as Real.  To me if it is possible to be conceived of, it is likely to be, or become Real at some point in Existence.

Faux Worlds

Its been a while since I’ve managed to find time to sprout my thoughts to the internet, so I guess now is a good time.  At least good of time as any.  The idea is that we each live, and are completely immersed in our own mental idealizations of the world.  This isn’t new, but the extent at which I’ve been realizing it just drives the message home even more.

Say for instance that a person is claiming that they’ve done such-n-such thing.  One could seek veracity on multiple levels (photo evidence, word of mouth, sight…etc), but in reality does any number of sources actually lend credence to said event.  To an extreme skeptic, no.  To someone who’s willing to believe, and suspend their own sense of denial.  Even if for a moment, then yes, evidence does matter.

Ex; Say for instance that I were to start claiming Divinity as state of personal nature.  Clearly the majority of people would start avoiding me, and/or declare me batshit insane.  And yet, in a round about manner each, and every one of us does so.  Daily.  We seek to set our interpretation of world events over that of our prior selves, and over that of others.  We rewrite our personal narratives daily, for the events are constantly in flux (so it seems).

Let’s take for instance that Divinization ( ) of being elevated to Sainthood by God is True.  We are all co-creators in God’s Project.  We’re all Children of God.  Thus why is there such a innate revulsion when someone starts mouthing such thoughts publicly (at least in my life, or so I’ve thought/experienced)?

The “Fact of the Matter” is that when one starts claiming special privileges, or narrative rights.  They have to have some sort of veracity, or evidence to support their claims.

Ex; A few times within the last couple of months, I was experiencing strange thoughts/memories (delusions I suppose) where I was a U.S. Marine.  I was thinking about enlisting, but I’m too old for it.  Further thoughts on the matter tie in notions of Temporal Service (Time Travel to a Different Reality…Serve 20 years, and time travel back.  Upon doing so, memory erased.  You never Served because there’s “no” evidence, or it’s been negated).

Further thoughts upon that idea was a notion that I had reached Brigadier General level of rank within said Service, and this was a strong “Delusion” I had experienced after my “mental breakdown”, and complete loss of identity for a year (circa 2010-11).

I have no proof of any claims for this mindset, and I don’t know why I would develop said mental identification.  It’s eerie, but I’m powerless in the sense regarding this because I can’t provide any sort of evidence.  Thus I’m rendered “insane”.  Even though there have been recent publications about “Time-Crystals”, and other micro-Time-Travel shenanigans in scientific journals (you know it’s going to happen someday now).

I guess the hardest part about this idea is the feeling of isolation, and desolation it brings not being able to know one’s own Reality is “Concrete”.  That they may have been such a figure, but then they now aren’t.  Although how is this any different than Reincarnation, or a Transcendence to Heaven?

One can’t prove it in any context, it is a matter of Faith.  Personally, I feel like this World, despite its “Evils”…is Heaven.  Simply because I’m alive, and I know that non-existence is never preferable to Existence.  To Exist is Life.

Who Wants To Start a Cult?! (A Cultist’s Primer to Cult Formation) (Satire).

So you’ve gotten tired of the mainstream deities, and social formations to be found within society.  You’ve realized that the tenets of their doctrines isn’t benefiting you anymore.  That all the power tends to accumulate to a select few, or those who’ve played the game the longest.  What are you going to do about it?

You could continue to abide by the system, and abidingly wait your turn for the dictatorial rights of position, or you could opt out and ply your own doctrine.  You know, God rewards the faithful, and the adherents of whatever dogma.  It’s just that your conceptions are more “Right”.  At least for yourself.  There’s always the expression that it’s better to be a prince in hell, over a slave in heaven.  You’ve just decided to take the next step, and say we’re all in Hell.  Otherwise this shit wouldn’t suck…  I mean miracles?  Faith Healing?  New Age Rocks?  That’s like saying that bark from certain trees cause pain relief…..sheesh who’d believe that?!

I’ll tell ya who!  You, and Me!  Religion is a Cult, Science is a Cult, Politics is a Cult, Everything’s a Cult-Cult….It’s quite like playing duck, duck, goose (grey duck…cause I’m Minnesotan).  You’re a Cult, and You’re a Cult, and what do you know!  YOU’RE a Cult! (The Minnesotan version describes aspects of the cult…Blood Cult, Green Cult, Death Cult, Sun Cult….because you know what….we’ve already established the majority of us are Cults….we’d have to be to live in a place where Hell Freezes over Regularly).

Thus the first steps towards authenticating your Cult is to seek out a national registry of Cult Surveillance, and Monitoring (In itself another Cult), and ask to be put upon the List.  Surely your choice of List, but that depends upon how Minnesotan you get in the description of your Cult.

Depending upon the agendas of your Cult, you may be authenticated that way, whereas another way is simply amass followers (GOOD LUCK…, because everyone is their own personal brand of Cultist/Cult).

Upon establishing a Following, develop a personal/Secret Tongue to describe the inner workings, and belief systems of the Cult.  Use as many obtuse, and obscure ciphers/references as you can (bonus points if you can convincingly make a Klingon Cult appear Romulan when it is actually a Vulcan Cult masquerading as a Federation Civic Practice).  Get the web of intrigue so built up, and convoluted where no one can follow the methods you’re practicing, and call it Good.  It’d be like a Game of Thrones novel.

Develop legitimacy in the eyes of your followers.  Do so by presenting ideas that you’ve picked up from your other cult memberships, and rewording them in your Personal Cult’s Parlance.  Devise either a Real, or a Pseudo Enemy to Hate (Bonus Points if it’s just another branch of your very own Organization…er Cult….nothing breeds hate like the Schism Hate).

This is done to unify your adherents to one banner, namely your banner.  In the end the goal is to evade Cult Extinction. And if the Cult keeps a Schisming….that’s a good Cult, right?  It’d be like a Hydra.


….Happy Formations, You Cults!

Myth As Reality

To start with a potential disclaimer;  I have no idea of if the thoughts to be expressed in the following post is valid, or “True”.  I merely mention them for the sake of self expression, and to provoke thought.

Having stated that, I’m personally beginning to feel that Reality is more Myth than a common objective standard.  Solely because of the amount of conflict that has escalated in the American Culture Wars.  From the perspective of a fairly disinterested individual in the thoughts being hurled around.  I would like to state that there at least appears to be “Two Camps” of thought being advocated for.  One of the “Liberal Bent”, and the other of a “Conservative Bent”.

I don’t identify whole sale with either disposition, for they both seemingly have their merits, and their flaws.  Regardless, the item I’d like to point out is parallel to these identifications in the sense that they underlie the seeming conflict in ideology (from my point of view).

The idea/item I’m pointing out is the notion of Myth as World-builder.  We as people are fostered from youth within a set mindset.  That of Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Buddhist, Shinto, or what have you (this also includes, but is not limited to Formal Education, Atheism, New Age Beliefs, or whatever).  I’m calling it ALL out, for all stem from a mindset of cultural conditioning and identity.  Racism, cultural conditioning.  Sexism, cultural conditioning.  Class-ism, cultural conditioning.   Nations, cultural conditioning.

Everything, and I do fully mean everything that one encounters in their daily lives, and from their own point of view is seemingly conditioned, and a myth.  A narrative of Life that we, or one can live by.  I’m not implying that such a behavior is either good, or bad, for that is another set of culturally conditioned thinking.

What I’m actually saying though is the thought that our Reality is fully manifested via ourselves from the Myths and thoughts that we believe.  Not some pseudo-“Law of Attraction” thing, but more of a this is what happens when one believes in something, and they act upon said belief.

A concrete example;  Does a Country exist?  Let’s take the United States as example.  In theory/thought it does exist, but as a tangible object does the “United States” exist outside our mindset?  Suppose you were a native of Mars, and completely foreign to the notion of Earth’s History (Shout out to Robert Heinlein’s “Stranger In a Strange Land”, for the idea inspiration).  To drill down into more personal details, go to you backyard, and grab a fist full of soil.  Is this “DIRT”, a Country/State/Province/City/County…etc?  No, it is a hunk of dirt, but we’re willing to fight, and shed blood for the ideological notion that this is our “Homeland”.  Our “Property”.  Our “God Given Rights”.

This is not so, from my current opinion (notice the caveat).  All that exists within our world is a myth that we’ve concocted to believe in.  Including ourself as ourself.  Digging into this mindset one shall arrive at a notion of what can actually exist?  And what is Authentic?  Does a person actually have a physical, concrete, form/body?  Or could they already be embodied in some form of an “Afterlife” (spiritual/virtual dimension)?

Now isn’t this too “Myth-Making”?  That I’m establishing postulates, and characteristic ideologies that espouse my mindset?  All of these words should effectively mean nothing to you, as a “Realized Individual”.  They are effectively another school of doctrine/thought that espouses to hold the “Absolute Truth”.  This not so, for the only Truth that a person may ever have is THEIR TRUTH.  Enforcing it upon another, or getting up in arms about it is no different than all the crusaders, jihadists, inquisitors, and other cultural zealots that fight for, or fend off “attackers” from other “Cultural Mindsets”.

This should all be fairly easy to see, for the first component of a “Culture”…is a “Cult”.  Note:  None of this forebears sharing your ideas, or beliefs.  It simply means that trying to ram your thoughts home, and to “convert followers”…is somewhat offensive.  Especially, to those who aren’t deigning to be fully involved in the present cultural (CULT) wars.

Split Realities, and Loci of Existence.

As can be experienced in nearly everyday life, a person is a member of multiple levels of reality.  There’s the virtual with social networking, the tangible, and the spiritual.  There’s probably many more depending upon one’s definition of Reality, but the task I’m aiming for here is the notion of the mentioned three.  Virtual, Physical, and Spiritual.

One of the intended points of my game is to invoke the feelings of multiple planes of existence within one local.  A character within the game can interact with computers (virtual), and be embodied in a physical form.  Their mind, called ego/soul in the game, is another aspect of the character’s multi-dimensional nature.  Said ego/soul is meant to represent the spiritual/intangible realm.  A thought that keeps occurring to me while I dabble with this project is that a person/player can’t really tell where the exact threshold between virtual/physical/spiritual realities lie.  Unlike a video game there isn’t a “loading screen” to portray when one mindset takes over from another.

Tying this into thoughts about Real Reality which has lately been appearing as more subjective than objective in some cases.  For the brain has to interpret signals from whatever stimuli it is focused on in exactly the same manner regardless of source.  Engaging on a social network is similar to engaging a virtual rendition of a character.  You’re sitting “alone” focused upon a rendered embodiment of someone who is presenting pre-processed information (self-censoring is easier when there’s no immediate response time).

We weave narratives online, but also in person.  And yet it is apparently “easier” online to forget that we are a certain so-n-so.  Forget notions of a “natural world” in some sense, for the Universe/Reality encompasses all of the distinct renditions of split realities.  A person can easily grasp that their physical life is separate from their virtual one, but yet a person cannot easily relinquish their online life once established.

Now why would there be a separation of the Spiritual from the Physical or Virtual?  Are these mere categorizations we use to help distinguish one reality from another?  Is this even valid?  Could I not in fact be operating from a brain in a jar/vat connected to a network of other brains?   That what I’m seeing is illusion, and/or uncertain as to “realness”?  Most assuredly yes, else there’d be no point to the whole school of “Western Thought”.

You know, Plato’s Allegory of the Cave?  An individual chained within darkness (ignorance) while a fire plays illusionary shadows upon their senses?  That once broken free, and set off from the Cave.  That they have entered, and seen the “Great Fire” that lies within a bigger “Cave”?  There is no way out of the notion of residing within an illusion.  At least none that I can readily think of, but does this matter?  Is the stimuli any less “real”?  I’d say not.  Thus when an individual comes to realize the illusion of illusions.  That there seems to be everything within existence, but only if you can project the shedding light from your own cognitive fire upon the shadows around you.

Spiritual, Physical, …Virtual…all three, and probably more are vectors to Reality.  There is no difference between the three portrayed.  It is an illusion.  Different Terminology for a “different implied understanding”.  Magic, and miracles happen everyday, but we are so used to them that we don’t acknowledge their uniqueness.

…I am a light in the darkness, casting my own shadows upon other’s consciousnesses while trying to play shadow puppets with myself.  Is this because I’m “afraid of the dark”?  Ignorance?  The “Unknown”?  Or is it just because my own little flame can cast only so much light in such a big cosmic arena?  And yet, gazing into the Heavens, at night, one can see the entire sky illuminated….


The Dark Messiah

This idea has influences from several possible sources.  Namely; Der Ubermensch (Nietzsche), Knight of Faith (Kierkegaard), Religions & Myths, and a “Caring Antagonist” in thoughts once expressed by my Brother.

In my present conception, The Dark Messiah, is neither a hero, a savior, nor an “anti-hero”.  The Dark Messiah is a personality that is so beyond conventional moralities of “Good & Evil”, and exerts a will onto itself.  That is capable of withstanding all common conceptions of what is “Good”, and what is “Evil”.  It is a character that has taken Neutrality, Indifference, Rationality, Emotionalism, Apathy, Impartiality, Mutability, and Self-Interest to an extreme.

In the draft of life, The Dark Messiah, would ideally be vested above all in their own self-interests/pursuits, but paradoxically they’d be vested in said interests by their chosen Deity/Ideal/Cause.  Thus they’d feel obligated to serve a “higher power”, but they have chosen said “higher power” for themselves.  They weren’t indoctrinated into said belief/worship.  In some sense it is a “auto-theistic” notion of the Dark Messiah.

It should be noted that a Dark Messiah is not Narcissistic, for they would have to render themselves completely open to ridicule, and criticism.  In fact that would be the function they would serve.  To embody the ever mutable Other of Philosophy/Tribalism into a tangible being/idea/focus.

The Dark Messiah, is a contrarian, and a rebel to every position.  Including their own.  They take doubt to new levels, and meta levels of is the doubt of this idea even doubtful?   The basis of their thought could be the contradiction within the Nihilistic Nothing mentioned previously upon/within this blog.  The tension generated by tearing oneself asunder at every moment of every decision is what grants the Dark Messiah their strength, and credibility.  They realize the need for “Strong Figures”, and “Weak Figures” for they have been both in their lives.  They are the fulcrum upon which the balance of Good and Evil is rent.

The Dark Messiah, simply doesn’t care about base needs, nor immediate desires.  Their desires is what matters most, but they sublimate the immediate minor ones in favor of the greater long term ones.  They realize that they are connected to an embodied system of Life.  That in order for themselves to exist, and benefit to the way that they have developed.  They too must align themselves with the “general course”, or zeitgeist of the times.  They can’t directly oppose said flow of Life unless the opportunity presents itself.

They are survivors who’ve been burdened, and alienated by the system they were fostered in.  Not because they failed to conform, or conformed too readily.  They are this way because they’ve been foisted into a realization that they’ve grown beyond the system they once knew.  That they’ve changed.  That they’ve become the Alien, the Other, The Outsider.  The alienated that no longer desires to bend a knee to a society that sacrificed them.

In some essence, it may be characterized by the protagonist of the original Fallout game.

After risking their life, and everything about them as a character.  The protagonist of Fallout is condemned to exile by the home he spent the entire game trying to save.  The Dark Messiah, may be what happens after the protagonist of Fallout makes his way into the wasteland.  He is neither a hero, nor a savior to his people.  He’s just another “Drifter/Lost Soul” in a nuclear scorched wasteland.  That goes on in the interlude to Fallout 2 to have set up his own village far away from his vault.