I’ve hit a connection between thoughts that may be key to understanding why I’ve been accounted with Schizophrenia. The thought is predominantly based off of this article https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/living-in-an-imaginary-world/ and some tangential ones related to the ideas expressed in the linked article. Mainly the Default Mode Network which is an aspect of every human, and to an extent may actually be what makes us “human”.
Going into details, at least a little, I’ve been told by doctors that I spend too much “time” in my “inner world/work” which there is more to be said about. And that seems to have been a general assessment of who I am. That I “focus inwards” instead of being externally directed. There is apparently a connection between daydreaming, and hallucinations.
To me when the doctors use the expression “Hallucinations” it seems to me to be an unintentional lapse from reality, and not daydreaming. I’ll gladly admit that I still daydream, and that it has actually been increased because of the treatment from the medical profession with their desires to “help”. I mean doesn’t it seem like common sense that when you’re being told, or confronted with a reality that is treating you with a regime of medication that you don’t agree with. That you’re being bound by double binds in which you are simultaneously being told that you’re crazy (Schizophrenic), and that you must agree with the treatment. Even though in effect to do so would be to accept an insinuation about your grasp of reality? That either way your reality is “unstable” because the doctors say so? And that if you don’t agree with the diagnosis, you lack insight which in itself is a symptom of said condition?
Bollocks. I think it makes absolute sense to withdrawal from a reality that is telling you that you’re crazy. All the more so when you actually dig into philosophy, and realize that one of the most fundamental arguments in said doctrine which is still ongoing. Is arguments about what is real, and what actually exists.
To me it shows nothing more than the arrogance, ignorance, and self-entitled narcissism of those who feel the need to designate mental health. There’s a quip that my brother used to make about psychologists, and psychiatrists that they’re the ones who actually need the help they push onto others. It would seem to be a classic case of their “defensive projections” if one were to use their lingo.
Re-focusing on a note that isn’t as likely to piss me off. I would like to return to the notion of daydreaming. I daydream, simple as that. I do so to avoid boredom, and to engage my mind in narratives that actually interest me. Case in point; when I was growing up, my brothers and I had to do a fair amount of yardwork. Hauling, and stacking cords of wood, for every seeming moment that our Father thought we should be busy. You know, the notion that idle hands are a devil’s plaything…
To keep myself engaged in my mind, and with what I was doing while doing the yardwork. Especially, hauling wood. I would imagine/pretend that I was a “peasant/peon” from Warcraft II (a videogame I was playing at the time in my youth). To build the economy, in said game, you needed workers. It was an RTS game where in order to engage in war, and defeat of your enemies. You had to have a functioning economy.
How is that a problem? To pretend to be a peon going “zug-zug” from a videogame while you’re doing essentially the same task as those fictional characters. I don’t think it is.
Getting to another point, the very uncertainty of Reality is a very fun notion to play with. More so when one realizes that philosophy supports a lot of those thoughts. Plato’s Cave Allegory. Characters in shadow. A false reality of illusions. Those that are taking the fiction (life) too seriously are those that are literally caught in the illusion of the shadows.
And if you’re a successful doctor, politician or really anyone who has a “Successful/Reputable” life, are you really going to give that up? Even to uncertainty of the foundation your whole world is built upon? I think not. And this should be easy to illustrate.
Had I continued to believe in the Illusions/Absolute Truth of Reality as it was laid out. I would more than likely be an “Aerospace Engineer”… a proverbial “Rocket Scientist”. Making something like $80,000 a year, and having the “high life”. And yet, at what cost? Had I gone that route, I would be just as judgmental of anyone that “rocked the boat”. Aerodynamics work according to the system that I was taught…rawr…etc.
I’d actually like to think that I have a stronger grasp on reality now than I did at that junction in time. I’ve come to realize that it’s in the mind, and if one has a strong enough understanding of their mind. I think it’s highly possibly to break the illusions, and more than likely institute your own. The part about the return to the Cave of Plato’s Allegory where the returning philosopher/seer of truth is killed.
In my game I was working on, I had implemented a concept that allows one to switch realities. In order to do so, they simply have to suspend disbelief. They’d have to disbelieve their current reality, and enact a new reality. How is this any different from getting attached to videogames/virtual reality/augmented reality? I’ll tell you, those are prefabricated stories, you’re playing through someone elses created, and contrived narrative. Not your own.
You’re not actually succeeding at anything, just like what happens when you play the game of life in “Reality”. You’re working the grind, earning a representation of “worth”…vouching to support the system (voting), playing the roles assigned to one.
Is it not time to be ourselves? Not in relation to the external world. I have this n’ this, I define myself by these external descriptors/variables…etc.
Is not the Kingdom of Heaven within?